The Four Agreements To Live A Happy Life
Recently I read the book “The Four Agreements” written by Don Miguel Ruiz. There are these simple but very profound four agreements (rules). If we commit and try not to break these agreements in our daily life we can make our life living heaven on earth.
Here is a summary of the book.
The Toltec was a civilization of spiritual teachers and their students in Southern Mexico in ancient times. They were called Naguals (Masters).
Don “The Author of the book” was born in this Nagual Community but he never followed spiritual teaching as his career. He rather followed to become a Neuro Surgeon.
Then one day in the 1970’s he met with a major car accident that changed his life. He started following the knowledge that was gifted by his family and ancestors.
If we look at the world around us we see fear, anger, revenge, addiction, violence & suffering. It may differ from country to country but overall it’s fear of something that is controlling us most of the time.
Most religions use the word “hell” as a place of punishment, a place of fear, worry, pain & suffering. If you look closely many of us who are living in that state of mind is actually living in hell.
On the other hand, if we are in a state of joy, love, happiness & gratitude we are in heaven.
Whether we want to live in hell or heaven it all depends on these four agreements. If we take care of these four agreements life is at peace.
The First Agreement “Be impeccable with your words”
It’s the most important agreement we need to make to ourselves to create heaven on earth.
Our ability to communicate using words is the most important gift human beings have got. No other animal and birds on this planet have this ability to speak.
Words are so powerful these have the ability to create our life or destroy our life.
Words have the power to unite nations together and words have the power to destroy nations.
It’s the power of the words that bring the family together or can split them apart.
The power of words brings a couple together to live the whole life. The words have the power to end up this relationship in divorce.
It’s the power of words people work for some leaders & companies for their whole life or leave them to find another job.
Words are not just what we speak, we use words in our own mind to think about our own self. “I am stupid, I am ugly, I am fat, I am worth nothing”. We all keep using these words to punish our own selves.
We can transcend the world of hell around us just by making an agreement to be impeccable with our words.
When we nurture these seeds in our minds, it will generate more seeds of love to replace seeds of fear, hate, and anger.
This is the first agreement we need to make to free ourselves from pain & unhappiness.
We can live in heaven in the middle of thousands of people living in hell once we follow this agreement. We can become immune to our surroundings.
The Second Agreement (Don’t take anything personally)
Whatever happens around you. Don’t take it personally.
Suppose if I meet you on the way and say, “You are stupid”. You should not take it personally. If you take this poison you will get affected and make your life hell.
The reason is it’s not about you. Whatever I am saying I’m saying because of my own state of mind. We all are like that. We see other people from our own perspective. We have no clue about the inner beauty of the other person.
If someone is saying, you are wonderful. Even then you should not take it personally, because you know you are wonderful. You don’t need anyone's validation to prove that.
Once you seed in this agreement you will never get disturbed by what other people think and say about you. You will never react to anyone and break the first agreement.
The Third Agreement (Don’t make assumptions)
Every day we make assumptions about others.
It’s all because of our past experiences & our belief system we create a mindset about others without communicating with the people we live with & work with.
We think and assume in a certain way about our spouse, children, parents, friends & the people we work with.
We assume, “Because I love my spouse I can change him or her the way I want.” We assume that our children should behave the way we want.
But that’s not true. Every human being is free & want to remain free. Do not try to change others.
If you have an opinion communicate in a polite way & get clarification but never assume if someone will behave, work or think as you do.
The Fourth Agreement ( Always do you best)
This fourth agreement will allow you the other three agreements to become deeply ingrained habits.
This is an agreement to remember the first three agreements and always do your best to apply them every day.
You don’t have to try too hard. Sometimes when you try too hard, you overdo it and get it wrong.
Practice it every day and whenever you break any of this agreement remind yourself.
“Doing your best is taking the action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward. Most people do the exact opposite: They only take action when they expect a reward, and they don’t enjoy the action. And that’s the reason why they don’t do their best.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
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